Thursday, July 24, 2008

Oooooooh! Pretty.....

So, I’m driving along….minding my own “B-I-business”…not thinking about anything in particular. I round a bend in the road and see THIS:

Only in New York, right?? Naturally, it made me immediately thirsty…and after that, I became curious about the nature of this…spectacle. I was actually more intrigued by the RV than I was about the bottle…although it’s obvious they belong together….like salt ‘n pepper, or hot dogs ‘n mustard…or Clinton Kelly ‘n ME.

The next day, it was GONE.

(Insert dramatic, Twilight Zone-like music here)

Can’t you just hear Rod Serling’s voice?

“An ordinary day…in an ordinary town. The peaceful landscape inexplicably broken by a strange twenty-five-foot bottle…and an RV with a matching logo.” (Music swells) “What person…or thing (said in an oh-so-ominous tone) erected this odd, yet riveting display? Is this the works of some homeless marketing executive…living in the RV by day and setting up in the darkness of night and merely trying to stay one step ahead of the law…whilst (would Rod Serling say ‘whilst’?? I think not.) desperately trying to inform the public that THEY’VE GOTTA TRY THIS PRODUCT! The message is clear: BREAK THE LAW…ABANDON YOUR CHILDREN…SELL YOUR HOME….DO WHATEVER YOU’VE GOT TO DO.” (Music swells to crescendo-pitch…then STOPS….complete and utter silence….)

Drink. This. Stuff.

I'd naively thought I’d go home, google my local paper, do a search and find out the poop.


But, I now know what’s in the bottle….and I’m not half as interested as I once was…as it is not alcoholic in nature.

Oh, well. (Are you as disappointed as I??)

It’s called Mona Vie…and I’d never heard of it prior to this public display of…..monumental proportions.

Here’s the poop:

  1. First and foremost: It’s juice.
  2. It’ll set you back anywhere from $30-$40 a bottle.
  3. For the pleasure of emptying your wallet at a somewhat alarming rate, you supposedly will have increased energy, a boosted immune system, rid your body of any and all joint pain, find the love of your life and end any and all premature hair loss.
  4. It’s sold through a multi-level marketing program. (Wow…I’m shocked.) The website went on to explain (all in caps, I might add): “TEAM COMMISSIONS ARE THE FUNDAMENTAL BUILDING BLOCK OF THE MONAVIE COMPENSATION PLAN."

Then they lost me….I was done. No alcohol? Upwards of $40 a bottle? For juice??

I don’t think so.

I’m convinced Rod would agree.

Lisa Hylton Costa said...

Don't knock it til you've tried it! It's tasty, and very good for you, and can make you some money too!

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