Sunday, June 15, 2008

When Life Gives You Mint...

Okay. So I like my cocktails. Those who know me best tolerate this passion with a gentle acceptance usually reserved for the passing obsessions of the very young. Although, this is not passing…and although it may in fact be an obsession, I am not very young.

At least, not that young.

When I was young-er, I drank gin & tonics. That was my drink….all the time…everywhere…have it ready when I get there…gin & tonic. And wine, as necessary…if I was somewhere where they had no gin and tonic. (Why I’d be there, I have no idea.) About 16 months ago, I decided I had some serious catching up to do.

I believe the conversation went something like this:

Jackie: “What do you want to drink?”
Kathryn: “I’ll have a gin…..and…..WAIT. Do you know I’ve never tasted a Cosmopolitan?
Or tasted the difference between a gin Martini and a vodka Martini...or an Apple Martini?
And that blue stuff that makes those drinks look positively neon….what’s that stuff called? I've never had THAT, either."
J: “Blue Curaco. So, you’re basically a cocktail-virgin? Does this mean you don’t want a gin & tonic?”
K: “Jackie! What am I waiting for?? I’ve got a good 30 different kinds of Martini recipes just waiting for me to mix, shake, or gently stir into heavenly concoctions that are mine for the taking! And that’s just Martini’s…then there’s…ooh…margaritas!
I’ll bet they’re good…I want a GRAPEFRUIT MARGARITA! STAT!
What’s in a Margarita, anyway? Is it gin??”
J: “It’s tequila. Kathryn…slow down. You’re starting to freak me out.”
K: “What? I’d think you’d be proud of me. I’m looking to mix things together to create new, exciting blends of tastes and ingredients…to be consumed and enjoyed for many, many years to come….”
J: “Well, I was kinda hoping you’d start with something in the food family…like maybe learn to cook something…ya know…to eat…like, for dinner. How about a nice green salad with okra?”
K: “NO! I want something BLUE…no, something with CHOCOLATE…maybe a CHOCOLATE MARTINI! Is there such a thing?
WAIT. NO. I want a Grapefruit Margarita.”
J: “Okay…okay...we’ll have to look up the ingredients….”
K: “Where’s your computer? MATT! GET OFF THE COMPUTER! I’ll pull up Google…..”

So slowly…bit by bit…I’m making my way through Ira’s entire liquor store, after focusing my initial efforts on the mixed, fruity cocktails I’d found sadly missing from my life. I won’t bore you with the finer details of what’s been mixed and consumed...the hits and misses…

“Never stopped you before…” I hear with just the hint of a smirk as Clinton cannot resist chiming in.
K: “Oh, like you’re a fine one to talk. This from the man who actually told me that he ‘wouldn’t turn away tequila’, even though you don’t drink tequila.”
C: “I never said that. You’re remembering it incorrectly. I said I wouldn’t turn away Bob Vila…you know…the guy from ‘This Old House’? Those home renovations practically killed me….” (Makes the universal “she’s crazy” circular-rotating-motion at his head, whilst rolling his baby blues Heavenward...)
K: “You are such a liar. I stood next to you at the counter….and you were making that face….THERE!...THAT face! just don’t want people to know that you’ll drink anything. This is NOT one of those times you spoke in my head, Clinton. You were THERE and you said it. OUT LOUD.”
C: “Whatever. What are we drinking?”
K: “Mojitos…but I need to see if I can find that mint that’s growing somewhere on the property. I step on it every now and then...and then I smell it. Here’s what it looks like, Sherlock:

C: “Okay. But, why can’t we just use what you’re holding in your hand? Too simple for you?”
K: “Ha ha. Just start looking…ARE YOU LOOKING?? Jackie’s gonna be so impressed!" :

C: “Yep…I’m looking very, very hard. Hey! Look! Cherries!" :

K: “Clinton!? Focus. We can’t make anything worth drinking with unripe cherries. I don’t think….can we? Hmmm… No. Wait. Are you gonna help me look, or what?”
C: “Fine. But I’m telling you right now that I’m not eating anything that some nocturnal animal may have peed on. I don’t care how well you wash it.”
K: “FINE. Then I think we’re done here. Let’s go.”
C: (Rolls eyes) “FINALLY.”

End result? :

A very tasty Mojito…with 2 wedges of Key Lime…and a nice coating of “organic mint”…(which I evidently should not have thrown in the blender with everything else, as it floats on top like a layer of freshly mowed grass…). No matter…I made it, they drank it.

Happy Father’s Day, all!

Anonymous said...

You are so lucky! I wish Clinton Kelly would talk to ME. He sounds just as witty in your head as he does on his show....maybe more.
I think you "complete" him!

Anonymous said...

My first thought, oh I'm so flattered she spoke of me. My second thought was holy cow what is floating on top of that mojito? Is it a shadow? Did she use some artificial crap, oh, no, she didn't, it couldn't be, it is-crushed mint instead of whole leaves. OMG! At least you tried! Keep trying.

kathryn said...

Ellipsis: Hopefully, the witty Mr. Kelly would agree with you.

jh: You mean, "keep trying" to mix new and exciting cocktails...right?
Maybe I should have called you before I mixed up that batch...speed dial #3....hmm.

Anonymous said...

It looks like a St. Pat's drink! What a fun hobby, trying out different drinks.

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