Thursday, May 15, 2008

Talkin' to Myself and Feelin' Old

Sometimes I’d like to quit-
Nothin’ ever seems to fit-
Hanging around-
Nothin’ to do but frown-
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down….

Only it’s not raining….and it’s far from Monday. But sometimes I DO feel like I’m talking to myself. I have to keep remembering:

I’m doing this for ME.
I’m doing this for ME.
I’m doing this for ME.

“Now. For WHOM am I doing this?”

“Ooooh, oooh…pick ME….I KNOW THIS ONE!!”

“Yes, eager-student?”

“I’m supposed to be doing this for ME…but I’m actually secretly hoping that others will find my writing so incredibly witty and entertaining that they’ll each tell two people and it will grow into this phenomenon, the likes of which have NEVER been seen before…to be recognized by Oprah
(who’ll devote an hour-long show to myself and my entire family, paying off the remaining mortgage on my house in a shamefully obvious attempt at sweeps...and then setting up a Foundation in my name to help other obscure writers to achieve their own greatness…but only during a sweeps month...), Bill Gates
(who will proclaim his eternal gratitude for my not defecting to Firefox when I had the chance… and after realizing that Oprah had trumped him in the paying-off-the-mortgage-idea, he’ll buy me a second home…someplace with a VIEW of the OCEAN…at his insistence) and of course, Clinton Kelly
whom I adore because I just DO. (He’ll buy the house next-door and we’ll alternate our time between creating new Martini recipes and dancing a conga line all the way to the bank, as I’ll have set him up for life with a cool 5 mill for entrusting me with the secret-knowledge of his middle name and his promise that he’ll turn an eternal blind eye to my favorite furry-slippers whilst spending the majority of his days staring sweetly into my eyes with his cornflower ones... rendering me incapable of remembering what I had for breakfast, much less what this post is supposed to be about.)"

“That is correct. You may proceed to the head of the class. You have gleaned the very essence of my struggle to be accepted and recognized as a creatively-gifted soul, oh young one.”

“Does this mean I can cut out of here early? I really don’t think anyone else is listening, anyway…..”

“Whatever.”

Sigh…….

jh said...

People please, let's support our gal with more comments! Plus it makes it more fun for everyone. In fact since I read this every morning like a newspaper, I'd even support a paypal donation-if there was a link! But then maybe Oprah wouldn't pay off Kathryn's mortgage. Anyway some free supportive cheering would nice. Rah, rah, Kathryn Kathryn your the best, leagues & leagues above the rest. Thanks for making me smile everyday!

Anonymous said...

Name: FERGUSON
Oprah's 4 interviews with Jill Bolte Taylor were the first that Oprah did after Eckhart Tolle and they take everything Tolle talks about to another level. Oprah's copy of Jill's book, MY STROKE OF INSIGHT, was dog-eared and all marked up and kept reading from it the way she read from A New Earth and recommended it highly.

Oprah's recommendation was enough for me. I read My Stroke of Insight and I loved it too. This story is as inspiring as The Last Lecture or Tuesdays with Morrie - and even better, it has a Happy Ending!

I bought the book on Amazon because they have it for 40% off retail and they also had an amazing interview with Dr Taylor that I haven't seen anywhere else - Here is the Amazon link: http://www.amazon.com/My-Stroke-Insight-Scientists-Personal/dp/0670020745/ref=pd_bbs_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1211471755&sr=1-2

Anonymous said...

I read "My Stroke of Insight" in one sitting - I couldn't put it down. I laughed. I cried. It was a fantastic book (I heard it's a NYTimes Bestseller and I can see why!), but I also think it will be the start of a new, transformative Movement! No one wants to have a stroke as Jill Bolte Taylor did, but her experience can teach us all how to live better lives. Her TED.com speech was one of the most incredibly moving, stimulating, wonderful videos I've ever seen. Her Oprah Soul Series interviews were fascinating. They should make a movie of her life so everyone sees it. This is the Real Deal and gives me hope for humanity.

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