Friday, October 9, 2009

Hold That Thought

Hi. My name is Kathryn. And I’m a procrastinator.

“Hi, Kathryn.”

But I am no ordinary procrastinator. I am its QUEEN. Actually, if there’s anything higher than the QUEEN, I’d be that. That’s how long I’ll stall.

“Hi, Queen-Kathryn.”

Um, hey. I could use some help here. I’m aware I have a problem…I’d just rather not deal with it right now.

Lucky for me I have a super-efficient IV, Mr. Clinton Kelly, who will patiently and lovingly talk through my issues and help me to evolve into a leaner, more productive me-machine!

Clinton: “I will? When did I say I would do that? Was I drinking? I do not remember agreeing to this. Just do it. Whatever it is. You’ll have to do it eventually.”

Kathryn: “That is the worst pep talk I’ve ever heard. Where’s the part where you help me uncover the deep-seated memories from my childhood? When my sister stole the chocolate pudding cup and I got in trouble for it? ‘Cause that happened a LOT, ya know. I don’t care what she told you. My usage of procrastination is buried beneath layers of blame, shame and the occasional rude nickname.”

C: (Sighs) “Okay. All drama aside…what’s the problem here? What did you not do that you should have done? Can this be fixed with say, twenty bucks?”

K: “NO. Well, give me the twenty…just in case. I’m just saying that there’s this thing…inside of me…that’s making me wait till the last minute. For almost everything. It’s like a Fear Factor thing. See, they’re trying to get me to eat the bug. The bug’s heading towards my open mouth…and I know I should close my mouth…but I wait till the last possible second.”

C: “I’m not following. Do you eat the bug?”

K: “No, I don’t eat the bug! This is not about bugs! It’s about waiting till the last minute. The bug is a metaphor….a MET-A-PHOR. I’m trying to understand that if I’m aware of the fact that I’m waiting till the last minute, why do I still do it?”

C: “Avoidance issues? Sibling rivalry? Lactose intolerance?”

K: “No…no…and ew. I think it stems from some desire to see how close I can cut it. Did you know that if you wait long enough, you get to throw some pieces of paper away? It’s really tempting…”

C: “You don’t say. What kind of a message are you sending to da boys with this behavior?”

K: “Oh, da boys have no idea. I preach to them to do it right away and get it off your plate. ‘Why put off till tomorrow what you can do today?’ Yada, yada.”

C: “So, you’re a hypocrite. And you don’t practice what you preach. And you do all this knowing you risk missing a deadline that you’ve known about, but deliberately chose to ignore…just to see how close you can come to crashing into a brick wall?”

K: (Squints in concentration): “Yeah. I’d say that about covers it. Can you help me?”

C: “Here’s another twenty and a copy of ‘Annie’. It’s all I can do…”

(Breaks into song, “I love ya, tomorrow! You’re always a daaaaay aaaa-waaaay!”)

If you're a planner, or a procrastinator...let me know. Then I 'll know whether to envy you, or empathize with you.

Happy Friday All! Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

starfish264 said...

Can I be both? Because I am!! I'm a massive planner - I plan everything - planning is my method of procrastinating. Because I'm not procrastinating if I'm planning am I??? Nooooooo. And then I can refine the plan. And circumstances change so I need to re-do the plan. And I know that at some point I'll need to put the plan into action, but you know, if I just wait a bit longer then I'll know if the plan will work. Eeeesh - and yet again I'll have to throw the plan out the window and do a mad scramble because there's no time left.

I never learn!!

Dianne said...

I'm both as well!!
see, you're actually in really good shape compared to us LOL

Sandi said...

Total Procrastinator... I'm a hypocrite too..I'm always telling my kids do it NOW but I always put things that I need to do aside until the have to be done. I wish I was a planner it would probably make my life so much easier with 4 kids.

Unknown said...

Procrastinator with a "to-do" list. Never bothers me to roll those items over to the next day's list, though...

Chrissie said...

I'm the same as Starfish and Dianne. I sit down to do my homework. Oh but wait, I should probably organise my english folder before I write that essay. I should probably go shopping for some new pens in fact. Oh look, I'm home, but these pens don't seem to match my curtains. Or the rest of my room. Now I must plan out a new layout for my bedroom, because I can hardly concentrate before doing so. Now that I have planned it, I can hardly do my homework until I have reorganised my entire room. I might even clear up the cobwebs in the corner. Oh dear, it's bed time, where ever did the day go?

You get the gist.

JD at I Do Things said...

I'm a procrastinator, but I tend to think my inability to do ANYthing at all much less on time is based more on laziness.

Can I be the Queen of Lazy?

All hail Queen JD!

Lynn said...

Feels soo good not be alone. I'm a procrastinator/planner, too. I can plan til the cows come home, but actually getting off my heinie and executing the plan is another thing entirely.

And now I'd best stop procrastinating and get back to work.

Lauren said...

My superhero name is Princess Procrastination... need I say more? Are we related? Or are you from a different, uh, Queendom? I like my outfit better though. I'm surprised Clinton didn't have anything to say about that.

Jen T said...

I don't see how you can be Queen of procrastination when I am SO CLEARLY the queen. Did you read my printer post? That was pretty much a daily occurance in college. I wait until the last possible second for EVERYTHING I do. It's a sad, sad sickness I have.

Spot said...

I'm so excited! I'm no longer alone in my planner/procrastinator "itis". It's a disease. I'm not responsible for this. Seriously. They should make a medicine and we can start a support group or a twelve step group or something. Look, I'll go first-
"Hi, my name is Spot and I'm a planner/procrastinator. It's been 3 years since my last confession..."
Maybe I got confused there...but you get the gist. I'm off to plan our 1st meeting...


snoble24 said...

ok i dont procrastinate but my sisters do there late to everything including work

KT said...

I am going to have agree COMPLETELY with starfish264. I plan everything. I love grabbing scraps of paper and writing down what i need to do for that week/month/year. I love feeling all legit and determined. Do you think I follow the plan? Do you think I am productive in any way? ABSOLUTELY not! Of course I don't follow the plan or plans, why on Earth would I actually listen to my own advice and my own schedule. Instead I spend the time I'm supposed to be doing something on the plan by coming in here and reading abut other procrastinators. makes me feel better knowing i;m not the only one. But then i wonder, if there's so many, how does the world turn round?

Mark Price said...

I'm trying to decide which side of the fence I belong on. I will immediately get off the couch to grab a beer,(provided there's no one willing to get it for me)but,I sometimes wait to take out the garbage. Guess I belong on both sides. I really dig your back and forth posts.

Sorys said...

I love it! Here I am contemplating Adderal. I thought I was ADD. Omg!!! Thanks!!! Although, this is America! There will be a pill for procrastinators!

Momiji chan said...

i already know where i belong anime world ^^ *drift's off to space* that be really cool if there was an anime world where you could go off to ^^ i'd so like that ^^

Unknown said...

Good morning lovely Kathryn,

Well... I can be a planner and a doer or I can be a procrastinator. it really depends on the subject matter to be honest.

I should have had my winter tires on my car two weeks ago but I knew what a hassle it was going to be... so I just got around to dropping off my car this morning. And now, I have the day off work and I'm stuck at home because I don't have a car! BOO!

On the other hand - when it comes to things like chores around the house or (when I was a student) homework, I tend to be a bit of a keener and get things done as soon as I have a chance. That is... I WAS that way until I discovered blogger. Now, my house is a wreck, I haven't phoned my mother in two weeks, and my chequebook hasn't been updated all month.


OH... and also when it comes to posting Eagle Photos for you, apparently I was quicker than I thought I would be. Did you see? A post just for you... ;o)

Have an awesome Friday amiga! Talk to you soon...


Leah Rubin said...

I'm a weird hybrid. I go from one to the other, and it's not even predictable... Maybe it's because I'm a gemini?

Anonymous said...

I would be honored to be the Duchess of Procrastination. I don't plan on procastrinating. I think it's the rush of impending doom that finally gets me moving.

Kelly@MentalGarbage said...

Procrastinator all the way.... I work better under pressure... haha

Brooke said...

I am new to this whole blogger and I am just meandering through and came across yours and I have to say that it gave me quite a laugh. I like coming across the ones that aren't always so serious but can have fun too.

that girl said...

I am totally BOTH! I procrastinate on things I don't wanna do and I plan what I do want to do! YAY me! Best of both worlds. :)

Alicia said...

Hi Kathryn,
H-i-l-a-r-i-o-u-s as usual. You know, your blog sounds sorta like what the little voices in my head sound like. Only no one as gorgeous as Clinton is in my head.

Ok, I will let you be the Queen Procrastinator, but I am the QUEEN MOTHER OF PROCRASTINATION! I lie awake at night worrying about what I should have done today that I put off until tomorrow.

No, no my friend, you are not alone. Have a great weekend!

Susan said...

I would be a planner-procrastinator, but I never get around to making the plan. I've got ideas for the plan rolling around in my head, but I never get around to putting it onto paper. I RARELY suffer negative consequences from procrastination (other than the added stress). In fact, I'm quite often rewarded--which only reinforces the habit. I have noticed that I procrastinate less if someone else is counting on me to get something done.

gabrielle said...

Too many unfinished projects to catalogue. Already immersed in the next vision. Great at the initiation stage, but not really a "detail" person. I guess this puts me squarely in the gemini procrastinator/planner camp.

I've also realized some other things while cleaning my toilet instead of practicing scales. I can get a lot done while putting off those things I avoid out of fear of disappointing myself.

Ron said...

Hello Dear Kathryn!

First of all...VERY clever post!!

I'm a bit of both. I would say I lean more towards being a planner, especially when it comes to anything that has to do with my job, taking a trip, paying bills, and most blog posts - HA!

However, I've been known to procrastinate about things too.

But I've learned something about procrastinating....sometimes waiting until the last minute to do something can actually be a positive thing because in the unplanned, there are often times that it works out better than if I planned.

So perhaps procrastination at certain times is a PLUS!

Hope you had a MARVI day, my friend!


Unknown said...

I mean who doesn't like to plan what they are going to do instead of doing it?? lol

Unknown said...

I am both, depending on what needs done. I've had 3 weeks to do a project (actually 2 - it was due last week!), and I just got around to doing it yesterday/today. It still isn't done ... hopefully tomorrow. It is a volunteer thing, so I'm not going to get fired or anything. :)

I find blogging to be way more interesting and fun (but, then again, who doesn't?). I need a bumper stick that says "I'd rather be blogging." But then, I'd probably never get around to putting it on my car.

Great post as usual!

JadedJello said...

I am not a procrastinator, and when I get a spare minute sometime this weekend I'll go onto to explain more about how I conquered that nasty habit. ;D

Kristen said...

Oh, I'm definitely a procrastinator. I'm trying to improve but it's not easy!

Rambles'N'Shambles said...

I am going to write a witty enthralling comment, honest.

I'll just do it later

jh said...

I'm a pla-crastinator, which is sort of like bi-sexual but in a non-sexual way pertaining only to the act of doing things. Love your post. In fact I meant to comment on the Italian post, I guess I procrastinated on that. It was such a wonderful memory & I'm so glad you wrote about it.

Bobby Allan said...

I only procrastinate with things I don't want to do. Like audits, housework, yardwork. You get the idea.

Heather said...

I am a "planner" with some things like: going her and there on payday, getting all my arrands done.

I am also "spur of the moment" like: I want to do the yard, I do it right then or I lose the want. I ask hubby to do something, I generally get irritated if more than five minutes pass.

I am also "procrastinator" I have a blanket I have been working on for two yrs. I will only work on it in the coldest weather, if I remember.

gabrielle said...

Still in my bathrobe. Please pass the tiara.

kathryn said...

starfish264: OMG! That's hilarious! So, basically you procrastinate the plan! It's freakin' genius!! You are my HERO! Thanks for the comment and the follow!

Dianne: Oh, noooooo....I don't think so. I need to (at least) have more of an intention of planning before I'll be somewhere in the middle! BWT: Loved your interview @ Ron's place and your blog is great!

Sandi: My soulmate...although, we'd be hell together. Then, we'd have 7 messed-up kids! Maybe not such a good idea!

jmberrygirl: HA! That sounds like a good balance to me! It's amazing how many things can actually wait...but then their still sitting there...mocking us....

Chrissie: Oh, I LOVE it! Esp. the part about the pens not matching your curtains! I hate to tell you this, sweetie, but I think you're more a procrastinator...welcome to the club!!!

JD at I Do Things: You got it! "Hi, Queen JD." What a team we make!

Allegria: I hear your pain. Don't you find you procrastinate longer on the stuff that you're not sure how to handle/fix/file?? I do...

Lauren: Yes, we must be related! We were separated at birth and now procrastinate in two separate kingdoms. (Oh, and I do believe that an eye roll is still considered an opinion from CK!)

lifelove'n'wine: You cannot possibly be sick! 'Cause if you ARE, then what does that make ME? Then again...I just talk to my laptop...YOU yell obscenities at your printer.....!

Spot: Okay! I'll do the support groups...but no meds or 12-step programs. That might turn me into a TYPE-A planner and then I'd have to hate myself....and I'd have nothing to make fun of!

kathryn said...

snoble24: Ah. are perfection and your sisters have the problem? I can live with that. Do they know you're saying this?!?

book*addict: I'll tell you how the world manages to still turn: We all get moving at the last minute! There's this sudden SURGE of energy as we all say "SH!T!!!" and leap into action! We're like superheros...only...not.

Mark Price: Oh, sure....I doubt you'll find many ppl who will procrastinate about getting up for a beer! That doesn't COUNT! It's the CRAP you HAVE to do that I'm talking about! I think you're on MY side, buddy. Thanks for the compliment! I like the conversations too!

Sorys: If they create a pill for procrastinators, it'd better make me feel incredibly happy, energetic and beautiful or I'm not taking it. We'll all protest. Agreed??

saku chan: I take it you're on my end of the spectrum? Sounds like it...welcome to my side, sweetie!

Picture Imperfect: SMOOG! I completely lost it on Friday! I'm catching up as we speak! I'm on my way over to your place right now. Always a pleasure hearing from you, Queen-Smoogie!

Leah Rubin: A "hybrid"....I like that! Most ppl seem to agree with you, but yours is very eloquently put!

kathryn said...

Fumbing confidence: Yes, you are hereby crowned the Dutchess of Procrastination. But, that means I get to go first.

KellyGrrl: I actually have a love/hate relationship with the pressure...but since I bring it on myself, I guess I love it more!

Brooke: Welcome! I'm afraid that I rarely get serious around here...this is a place for smiles and chuckles...and I hope, the occasional belly laugh. Hope you'll visit again soon!

that girl: HA! So, you don't procrastinate if it's something you want to do? I hate to tell ya, but I don't think that counts!!! Okay, I'll allow it....since I do it too!

Alicia: HEY. You can't be of higher procrastination than I! It is simply not possible...unless we're gonna have a contest to see who comes closest to hitting that brick wall...and I don't recommend that. Hence, we shall be Co-Queens.
And yes, I agree....I have a gorgeous man in my head!

Susan: I completely agree! I also will work faster if someone (I know/love) is counting on me! It's the rest of the world that gets me into trouble....

Gabrielle: Aw. I think it's all too easy to drop the ball these days...too many balls up there in the first place. I plan out all my ideas whilst driving or drifting off to sleep....the two times when I can't actually initiate 'em!

RON! Yes...I've *heard* about your planning of your posts. I won't say who (it was Chrissy) told me that you've got 'em in the hopper ahead of time? You dawg, you! Yes, I've often found that waiting till the last minute can mean a better deal. That makes it that much harder to do things right away.
Always good to hear from you, my friend! xoxo

Sports15: Very good point! I feel so righteous when I write it down...don't you? It's the DOING part I don't like!

Kimberly: LOL! "I'd never get around to putting it on my car!" HA! I'd prob be the same way. I have an assignment that was due Friday-"ish"...(my editor's words)...needless to say, its not done. Guess what I'll be doing tomorrow???

kathryn said...

JadedJello: HAHA! Good one! Yeah, you just take your time with that one! Take all the time you need!!

Kristen: It's hard, right? Esp. when you have those times when it works out better that you waited! Then, I don't know WHAT to do!

evilteenietiff: Oh, you slay me. How did I know that was coming?? You little minx! I'll think of a snappy comeback...sometime.

jh: Okay. But, what the hell is a pla-crastinator....and how does it pertain to being bi??

Chrissy! Uh huh...uh huh. That's the only way to do it, imho. Why would someone put off something FUN??

Heather: Well, you sound more like a planner to me. I mean, the blanket doesn't HAVE to be done, right? There's no deadline? You sound organized and efficient. I'll have to envy you. Sorry.

gabrielle: HA! I think I'll need about a dozen tiaras for this group! We are a large bunch of characters!!! We shall co-run our kingdom...when we get around to it.

Tinkerschnitzel said...

I make lists. I'm such a list freak that I become OCD over them. Ex: my grocery list has to be in order of the grocery aisles. Things are planned down to the detail. Now, whether I actually ever use the plan is a different story!

talk before sleep said...

LOL I guess non of us are alone here. I too am a planner/procrastinator. I used to think I worked really well under pressure (especially in college when a giant paper was due and I knocked it out an hour before class) but now I end up waiting so long to do anything I stress myself out to the point that I might even tell myself that I no longer need to get it done. Or I wait for my boyfriend to do it while I sit on the couch and blog. I'm sure he loves that. :)

kathryn said...

Tinkerschnitzel: Wow! My Ex BIL used to shop by weight...all the heavy stuff went to the bottom in the cart, but first on the conveyor it packed "properly". Good for you! (I think.)

Talk before sleep: HA. Hey, BF has to pick up where you leave off. That's the deal in relationships. That's how you...complement each other!

Chelsea said...

Yep im with ya on the procrastination.. actually im doing it right now. Im supposed to be studying for an Anthropology test tomorrow, but your blogs are waay more entertaining to read than 30 pages of notes!

K and E said...

Ugh, I feel your pain. I should definitely be in a Procrastinators Anonymous group. I'm totally aware of the fact that I'm cutting things waaaaaay too close, but... somehow it just doesn't bother me anymore. I used to get all stressed out, but now I kind of just shrug it off (I think the stress got to be too annoying so now I choose to ignore it)... and then once I crash into the brick wall I start freaking out and banging my head against the fridge.

Damn procrastination... I wish there was a pill I could take that could cure me of procrastination and make me actually WANT to get things done in a timely manner... I'd pay big money for that... (speaking of which, I should be working on my Physics lab that's due tomorrow... but the internet is so tempting...)

Oh, and awesome blog by the way, I love it!


Loredana said...

100% procrastinator! I say this all the time 'I work better under pressure', but I realize that's just to convince me of my procrastinating ways. It's sad and horrible that I procrastinate at everything, BUT I have to say, after all the whining and crying and head pounding on the wall I do, I seem to get it all done and it comes out pretty damn nice too!!!


kathryn said...

Chelsea: Well, I do believe that's a very valid excuse for not studying Anthropology. You may tell teacher that we discussed it and you felt that the mere fact that we *brought it up* was studying enough.

K and E: Thank you for the kind compliment! And I'm with you....I do believe the stress created by procrastination has caused us to further procrastinate to avoid the stress. It's an endless, why stress about it at all?? Read blogs instead!

Loredana: HA! That last line is da best! "Procrastinators Unite...Tomorrow!"...I wish I'd thought of that...I wud've used it as the title! Great job!!!

Oddyoddyo13 said...

I gues you could say I'm neither. When it comes to doing sometihng I don't like (chores, chores, and chores), then yes, I am a huge procrastinator. But Mom always makes sure I do the other things I don't like (homework, projects, parent/teacher conferences) done right away. Then I can "get them off my mind and not worry about them". The only problem; I don't think that way. Usually I either forget it or I remember it, think I can do it in another five minutes, and then I forget it.

kathryn said...

Oddyoddyo13: Welcome to the club, sweetie. I'm always holding the "carrot" of the thing I wanna do as incentive to get the icky stuff out of the way. So far, I'm running about 50-50.

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