Tuesday, August 4, 2009


Remember a few weeks ago when I told the story of the original PC guys? Well, it’s only fair to make up some bios for the competition.

And aren’t they just the merriest looking bunch! Someone didn’t get their bran this morning….or, maybe it was the photographer who decided to set the tone for the piece:

“Okay, everyone. YOU, in the vinyl jacket….you hold the typewriter…and YOU, MAC-guy…you hold the television. Now. Show me the expression on your face when the boss told you he ‘thought this teevee-typewriter combo was the stupidest thing he’d ever seen, how he’s cutting your pay to minimum wage and you’ll be working the next 3 months round the clock till you come up with something where he’ll turn a profit’. Good! Now, hold it…..”

As with the PC group, I shall introduce the team as I see ‘em:

First, we have Bob and Wendy. Bob and Wendy are having an office affair, but they don’t think anyone knows about it. Wendy wears really uptight clothes so no-one will suspect she’s really a slut party girl. Bob’s idol is Walter Cronkite and feels he’s way too cool to be working with the likes of these losers. He'll just stand there and look cool till he's discovered, which should be any day now.

This is Bruce. Bruce is so freakin’ stoned right now, he doesn’t even realize he got out of bed this morning. Bruce is sitting backward on the chair and is actually holding a baggie of an unknown substance in his fist, the same fist that is the only thing keeping Bruce from landing face down on that extremely sharp-looking typewriter.

This is Clyde. Clyde is one unhappy dude, dude. His girlfriend just left him and threw all his David Bowie albums out the window and all he has left is his beloved gerbil, Rocky, which is coincidentally what he’s clutching in his hands in this photo. Rocky is trying desperately to get to the baggie in Bruce's fist.

Here’s Ted. He's the head of the design team and the only member that got to wear the t-shirt. Ted is really pissed because someone ate the last onion-with-butter-bagel in the conference room, so he had to settle for the poppy seed bagel with cream cheese (even though everyone knows he's lactose intolerant) and now Ted needs to use the…facilities. Ted’s decided he’s gonna kill the bastard that took his onion-with-butter-bagel, sometime between now and midnight when he’s next allowed to use the facilities.

And last, but not….well, last…..is Donald. Donald and Ted have an ongoing rivalry about who should get credit for their latest invention. Ted thinks Donald is a sneaky, backstabbing liar who would sell his own mother to make a buck. Donald thinks Ted is an attention-stealing blowhard who’s too stupid to smell the onion on Donald’s breath. He’s also poking Ted in the middle of his back with his elbow…just for spite.

But, somehow they made it work. They're one, big, happy family.

Bobby Allan said...

OMG, this is SO funny! Stoned Bruce is my favorite.

When Pigs Fly said...

Great post. Thanks for stopping by my site. I'm so glad you did. Now I have another great site that I can come and visit. I'll be back!

kathryn said...

Chrissy: Thank you! I certainly enjoyed writing it. The PC version is a post called Memories if you want to see the competition. (Yeah, Bruce is my fav too)
When Pigs Fly: Welcome! So glad you found me. I found you abt a week ago-have you on my sidebar (under blogs in blugville), but it just comes up as "Journal". Don't know why. Your site is wonderful and (obviously) I'm a fan.

Susan F said...

Too funny!

kathryn said...

Thanks, Sue!

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