Thursday, April 2, 2009

Picture This

Once again, I have outdone myself in the fashion investigative venue…bringing you, my faithful readers, the strangest of the strange…the oddest of the odd….the—well, you get the idea.

My IV has smugly reminded me that he still remains unclear as to why I’m unable to find a middle ground when it comes to my own fashion… I have politely informed him what he can do with his not-so-subtle opinion. I find these bizarre items to be fascinating…and in some cases, completely and utterly hilarious:

I do believe these shoes would work well on a day when one is feeling particularly bloated. (I simply must also point out the similarity between this and a certain part of the male anatomy….ahem….co-incidence? Am I the only one who sees this?)

Okay, this is SO cheating. My feet hurt just looking at these…and don’t even get me started on the germs she’s collecting….

So…like, ya know the way sometimes…like, your thong….it’s like…visible on the back of your low-rise jeans? Now, it’s no prob! (Dude.)

Where’s my hash browns? Seriously….??

I told Clinton I thought this bag would go nicely with his chickenshirt. His response was less than courteous...and contained many words I cannot repeat. I stand by my observation, though.

C’mon…you know you want it! Guys: Could you imagine slow-dancing with her?


For those times when you’re dying to feel the grass between your toes…and under your heels….and beneath your arches.

Woah. What can I say? It’s the infamous Ashtray Hat! I thought it was a myth….

And fashion’s not just about what goes ON your body….doesn’t this chair look all comfy and cuddly? I wonder if each individual chair is custom-molded to one’s own butt….
Speaking of comfort, this little number is made entirely of iron. Do you think it’s heavy? Do you think it breathes? Do you think SHE can breathe??

I know I’ve shown you these Marc Jacobs before, but c’mon….they’re worth another look, right?

I will never complain about my hair again. And just think of all the green she can save by not needing to buy any tops…

And finally:

For those times when you simply must supply your own lighting…and the sides of your skirt are inadvertently dragging on the ground….and you’re in desperate need of something to *pop* your collar…and you’re feeling all sentimental remembering that full-‘round-the-head-gear retainer-look from middle school.

I’m glad someone finally captured this…

jh said...

Holy weirdness. I hope we don't really have to start looking at girls in those jeans. B/c aside from the vulgarity, you know all those muffin topped teenaged girls are going to think their fat hanging out is attractive. & then it's REALLY going to be gross.

Kathryn said...

I couldn't agree more. Did you see the hips on that model? She doesn't have any!

susan F said...

Yikes, I think I know girls who WOULD wear those jeans! I picture lots of piercings with them.

Do people really wear those shoes? Outside of fashion shows?

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