Thursday, April 10, 2008

Faith....

So, ya gotta have faith. At least, that’s what George Michael says.

My sister Laura is a big believer in faith. I doubt she goes anywhere without it. Supermarket? Faith. Big Power Meeting at work? Faith. Bank? Definitely faith. Laura says there are no coincidences in life…that there’s always somebody upstairs with a plan.

I’m not sure who this “being-with-the-plan” might be, but I’d like a word:

Dear …Whoever’s in Charge of Making Things Happen (You know who you are),


I’m sure you’ve got a lot on your plate right now...and I hate to be a bother (said in my best Jewish-Mother accent), but I have a few things I need to get off my chest. Maybe you can help….maybe you can’t. But you can’t blame a girl for trying.

For starters, I’d like to suggest you cancel winter. I know this is a lot to ask…wiping out an entire season and all, but it’s gotten way out of control down here. Winter is supposed to be one of four seasons, if I’m correct…and it’s hogging WAY too much time. It also doesn’t play nicely with the other seasons and it was especially nasty this year, so I believe it should be “expelled”. Or whatever. Just make it GO AWAY. I can get signatures on a petition, if it’ll help speed the process along. I’d suggest replacing it with more SPRING, an all-too-short season of hope, promise and no wind chill. That’d be nice.

I’d also like to suggest an amendment to Daylight Savings Time. We can call it “There Aren’t Enough Hours In The Day Time”…or “TAEHITDT” for short. It’s catchy, right? It’ll grow on you. Simply add 5 hours to each 24-hour day…you may split it up between day and night, if you like. We’ll let the next generation worry about making it up. This would mean an extra 2 ½ hours to sleep and the rest to do…oh, I don’t know…laundry. We need to do the laundry….seriously.

Well, I guess that’s about it for now. I’m sure someone’s already mentioned world peace and ending hunger and disease, so I’ll assume you’ve got someone working on these. Just tell them that the sooner they resolve these issues, the sooner the Miss America contestants will stop wishing for them…and that’s good for all of mankind.

Thanks for all the good stuff, by the way. Family, friends…SPRING. (Ya did GOOD with Spring.) I’ll make you a deal: You keep the good stuff coming and I’ll try to be more like Laura. I’ll try to have faith.





P.S.: If you have a minute, could you:

  1. Bring back Sex & The City
  2. Find the missing remote in the master
  3. And the button on my printer is broken...

Anonymous said...

Keep the faith!

K said...

I'll keep the faith that someone's out there...reading this!

JH said...

HYSTERICAL!!!!!!!!!!!

Post a Comment

Fabulous Insights by Fabulous Readers