Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Purge

Some of you may find this hard to believe…but I have some purging issues.

(In Kathryn’s head, her readers GASP in utter surprise and disbelief. It would be nice if you took a moment to fulfill my mental image. Thank you in advance for your cooperation.)

When booting up laptop upon arriving home, I was a bit shocked by how cluttered my desktop has become:


Yikes. I mean, they’re neatly spaced and all…(actually I had little to do with that…it’s the default) but…double-yikes. Actually though, this was just the tip of the iceberg.

Gigi? Girlfriend…cover your eyes…I’m afraid you may spontaneously combust:


This past weekend, I dug through no fewer than 500 emails. Then I sorted all my paper items into these handy-dandy shoe boxes, until I tired of it and gave up. And in case you were wondering, this precarious pile of crap stuff is sitting on top of the file cabinet.

So close. And yet, kind of ironic…don’t you think??

Okay, Gigi…you can open your eyes.

My latest attempt at purging was to get some of the crap stuff off of my phone. Turns out, I use my phone to take photos of everything…and by everything? I mean everything. Let us turn to Exhibit A:


I’ve been trying to get a decent photo of the necklace I wear to work every single day. Obviously, this is not it…but I'm giving myself an A for effort…and an A+ for creativity. As you can plainly see, I was extremely busy...


This would be me trying to shop for Connor (14), who would rather have a root canal than be seen in public with his mother…much less actually trying on articles of clothing. This blurry photo actually resulted in an affirmative nod from Connor, as it was fluffy and furry inside. It's like pulling teeth, I tell ya! (Pun intended.)


This would be my Swingline “Jam-Free Guaranteed!” stapler, which I ceremoniously tossed after it jammed for the third freakin' time. The upside is that I tweeted my displeasure with this particular office product, thinking Swingline might honor their “jam-free-guarantee”. They did not. Instead, I received a tweet from their competitor…who then sent me this:


SCORE!! Yes, folks…that’s THREE awesome staplers. It was the major topic of conversation at the office for two days. All you kept hearing was the ***PING!!*** of things being stapled. My boss was the worst offender...putting no less than 20 staples into a Camry brochure 'cause the stapler said it could handle up to 20 pages. And it did.


I was tickled when I realized the theme song to Big Bang was sung by….well, you can read. I sent this photo in a text to Taylor (19) who’s up at college ‘cause…well, I needed to share the joy. He responded with, “I knew that.” I was sufficiently deflated.


Evidently, photographing almost-used-up beauty products only aids in replacing them if one remembers that one needs them whilst one is out. Wow...that was a mouthful. So, it’s great in theory…but I'm still out.

Finally, I thought I’d share one of my most prized possessions. It’s neatly posted right on my wall. As you can see, I’ll be needing to start another Post-it:


I’ve no idea what the “Accent font=lying” means. Suggestions are welcome. I'll admit that I totally know the meaning behind the "boom-chicka-wah-wah" and I'm relatively certain I originally read it on GayGuy/StraightGuy. They crack me up.

Suffice to say, I’m losing my mind...but I seem to have accounted for all of my stuff.

xo

Gigi said...

Oh wow! I'm FEATURED!!!

Ummm....girlfriend? That is NOTHING to close my eyes over. Have you met Hubby/Man-Child??

And? If it makes you feel any better - yeah, my desktop (both at work AND at home) looks the same.....as does all the photos on my phone.

*sigh* I only pretend like I have it all together....in reality? I don't.

But I blame "them." If it weren't for "them" THEN? Then, I'd be golden.

Jeff said...

When you get things uncluttered, you can give me a hand... Sage posting from his other blog

Alicia said...

Wow, what a great post! I always read your posts and think..."Why didn't I write this?" I think it's cause my life mirrors yours only in my life I don't get free stuff when I complain!

Slamdunk said...

I think the desktop just shows how busy you keep yourself.

Glad you made some headway and went through 500 emails--I have lots that need attention as well.

Loredana said...

You my friend are hysterical! Forget the clutter, ok wait a word on the clutter on your desktop...poor dog photo background...just make it a plain background so at least it makes A LITTLE sense when you boot up. OK now to that list cause really that's the icing on the cake...Dalai Lama, Christian Louboutin and diarrhea all on one list: CLASSIC!

roaringforties said...

On my keyboard its Ctrl + Alt + e =é (É; + Shift).

I went on a tidy bent a few weeks ago. I broke the industrial hole punch by inserting more leaves of paper than it could eat. Now I've a punch that perforates the pages. I expect it'll soon be flight tested.

Lily Johnson said...

Kat honey, you are awesome. You get things from a rival company when you complain about a product. Hilarious! We all clutter our spaces i guess. Lol at your list.

A Daft Scots Lass said...

I adore your necklace!

Cathy Olliffe-Webster said...

I JUST REALIZED THE BARENAKED LADIES SING THE BIG BANG THEORY THEME SONG. Like, TWO DAYS AGO.

Amy said...

That is exactly what my desktop looks like! Except the background picture is my company's default logo/propaganda... depressing... everyone gives me a hard time about it, but I've actually never had the urge to purge. Perhaps that should concern me.

Wendy Blum said...

Because all your desktop icons are neatly spaced and organized and I'm sure it took you hours to get them just right, I can overlook the unkempt piles on top of your file cabinet :)

Lauren said...

I snorted instead of gasped... is that still okay? They're... sort of the same thing?

BlackLOG said...

The first time I took Mrs B to a Barenaked Ladies gig (Yes the fun loving Canadian have made it to the UK on a number of occasions) she ran into one of her main board directors - He asked where she was off to and she said without thinking

“To see the Barenaked Ladies”

He looked at her in stunned silence and to this day has never said another word to her.... or possibly anyone else below the level of chairman

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Dorn said...

I have said "one finger stapler" and really love it...and people who borrow it have audible stapler envy as they return to their malfunctioning office utensil lives.

I too was pleased that BNL did Big Bang but was even more tickled (now that I think about it, you may not have been exposed because your youngest is far too old to respectably watch it) that Phineas and Ferb was done by Bowling for Soup!

When Pigs Fly said...

It's crazy how much crap we all keep. I went through my wardrobe a few weekends ago and literally got rid of half my clothes. It was fabulous. I felt about 100 pounds lighter.

Kelly@MentalGarbage said...

I just noticed that the Big Bang theme song was performed by Bare Naked Ladies the other day too! haha

:-) And I have mini panic attacks if the icons on my desktop get too close to the picture I have in the center... haha I always delete stuff and make new folders to keep it to the side... haha

Climb2Nowhere said...

I like the list of words you forget. Unconditional.. humor her and boom chicka wa wa made me laugh.

Funny and fun post as always!

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thecubiclerebel said...

Glad to see I'm in good company with my cluttered life. Hey, at least you have a life; I'm becoming an ornery old frumpy shoulder shrugger who thinks flowers are increasingly annoying. Especially when they're sent to your coworkers instead of you. I mean, ME.

snoble24 said...

wow clutter ville. i know im not the most orginized person but i am better than that. although so many people in this world are so totally clutter bugs. my sister is one of them. she has way to much stuff in her apartment

Len Sandler said...

I know that feeling but I'm sure that he wouldn't really like a root canal.
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