Sunday, August 1, 2010

Now and Then

Let’s take a walk down memory lane….shall we? How many of these things are familiar to you…but not to your offspring? And how many will be long forgotten by the next generation??


(Above) We’re so spoiled now…waking to the gently rising music from our iHomes or clock radios with our fancy snooze alarms. We’d probably have a heart attack waking to one of these. And I’m imagining that ticking would drive me insane. (Gee…I’m realizing that almost every clock in my house is digital…how long before kids can’t read analog??)


Of all the things they could have called the above….why a mouse? Why not a ‘bean’? Or…a 'pod'?? Mine doesn’t look anything like a rodent, especially now that they’re wireless. I do believe they should re-think this name.

“Hi. Bill? It’s Kathryn....we need to tawk.”


(Above) Yikes. Anyone who’s still saving these babies for prosperity? Still optimistic about that?? I hate to break it to you but...I don't think they're ever coming back. You know, they’ve digitally re-mastered almost every tune ever made now. You can probably find it on iTunes. Just saying…


Quick! You’re talking on the phone! What do you call the above three things? I call ‘em hourglass, arrow-pointer and hover-hand. Do kids even know what an hourglass is in real life? Other than being used for charades? Does anyone still use the three minute glass timer to make hard-boiled eggs? Does it work??


(Above) I realize that not everyone has a digital camera…but I do believe these are becoming a thing of the past. Remember when it took a week to get your photos back? Then it was three days….then three hours…then one hour. And you had to remember that anything on that roll was subject to ridicule by the entire photo-processing staff. Honestly, I can't imagine waiting for more than say, 5 seconds to discover that I do indeed look like a rock-chick-porn-star in those ridiculously-long false eyelashes and those too-tight leggings from 1990. Boom-chicka-wah-wah...


(Above) Then: “To da moon, Alice!”


(Above) Now: “To infinity….and beyond!”


(Above) I saw one of these the other day and felt that rush of pure childhood joy. I don’t know why…but I never see the actual Good Humor truck anymore…with their “ching-ching-ching” bells. None of that electronic-musical-crap I hear now.

The above is the life or death of any cell phone user. Someone decided on five. I’d like a phone with seven bars….just so I know my reception’s better than everyone else’s.


(Above) Family night entertainment then.


(Above) Family night now. I’m going on record now as saying that I think the future of home entertainment will involve holograms. You’ll all sit in a circular fashion and watch the action in the middle of your living room. It’ll be like you’re right there.


(Above) I mean…seriously? Who’s real and who’s the hologram? Creepy.


The above is why I had 324 cavities as a kid. Only, I don’t remember any other colors besides the traditional ‘tooth-rotting white’. Yes, I do believe that was what it was called on the package…
None of my children have ever had a cavity, which is completely inconceivable to me, so don’t even think about giving them any of the above.


(Above) Then, we all loved Lucy.


(Above) Now, evidently everybody hates Chris. Gee. I don’t care for him….but ’hate’ is such a strong word.


Above is the equivalent to seeing you have no cell bars. It may look like a happy scene…but it’s not. (Gigi knows what I'm talking about.)


(Above) Networks practicing their primary and secondary colors….AKA “We’re off the air. Go to bed, for God’s sake. We’ve got nothing else to say.”


(Above) When a chick said she had to wash her hair, she dried it with one of these contraptions. With curlers, of course. I believe it took approximately 3 ½ hours to complete and by then, the evening was over…so she really couldn't go out with you...and then she'd wind up having to ‘sleep’ on the blasted things, which was like resting your weary head on these:


Comfy.


(Above) All business….


(Above) Casual and sport-sy?

And finally….a scene that may soon be non-existent:


Standing on line at the bank to deposit a check. (S-n-o-r-e)


Now, you can photograph the check with your cell and have it deposited without getting out of bed. (If you keep your checks under your pillow, that is.)

Wow. Modern technology. Aren’t you proud of us for keeping up?