Boystown

Today I present several male-related incidents. I'm not saying they couldn't happen with girls.....but I highly doubt it. And with photographic proof to back me up for anyone who may be thinking, “There’s no freakin’ way this stuff really happens…” think again, my friend.

These photos don’t lie.

So, I’m sitting with da boys in the living room….our feet propped up on the coffee table. It’s an average day….and we’re talking about your average, mundane stuff. Suddenly, my eye is drawn to something shiny underneath the coffee table.

Me: “Wait. What is that underneath the coffee table?”

Connor (12): “What? I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Taylor (17): (Deadpan) “What coffee table?”

When I finally fished it out, this is what I discovered:

Do you notice anything a little….off…about one of these fireplace tools? The repair job on this item is classic male: duct tape. Evidently, Connor was trying to use the tool on the front lawn as a javelin.

It didn’t work out very well.

Taylor knew nothing about this...but did the typical cover-thy-brother's-butt maneuver, lest he ever need the favor returned in the future.

This morning, I took a photo of the walls on either side of my front door (before I washed ‘em down. You’ll see.)

This is the left side:

….and here’s the right:

I know you’re just dying to know what happened. Taylor was walking up the stairs. He was carrying a jumbo-BJ’s-sized box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, a gallon carton of milk and a tablespoon. Oh, and he was talking on the phone.

Somehow, he fell UP the stairs. It was the crash heard ‘round the world….Cinnamon Toast Crunch and milk everywhere…as evidently, he hadn’t finished a decent amount that was still in the bottom of the bowl.

I know they say cinnamon is supposed to be a welcoming, heavenly smell...but there is a difference between someone entering your home and saying, "Mmmmm....what's that smell?" and saying, "Ewwww. What IS that smell?" So, I cleaned the floor...and I cleaned the walls...and I threw in baking soda for good measure to hopefully remove the lingering smell that reminds one of cinnamon...but, not quite. Something is off.

It's cereal. Mixed with milk. Soaked into the wall.

I'm thinking, "Welcoming? Not so much..."