Life, Resumed.

At 6:15 this morning, after approximately ten hours of a restless dream-filled sleep, I awoke feeling somewhat like myself again.

Thank Gawd!

Whoever coined the phrase “It’s just a cold” was a sadist.

It has now been 11 hours since I’ve last sneezed, or glanced heavenward whilst muttering dramatically, “Okay….it’s official. My head is definitely going to explode. Just get it over with…go ahead. Everyone’ll survive without me.”

It’s always surprising to realize that the world does indeed go on, whilst one is wallowing in bodily-secretion-hell. There were 9 new messages on my answering machine and 3 new messages in voicemail, which is the backup to my answering machine. I am unclear of exactly when these messages arrived, as I’ve yet to reset the machine from our last power outage….so all I got is a robotic male voice announcing “TIME AND DATE NOT SET. PLEASE REFER TO YOUR MANUAL FOR DETAILED INSTRUCTIONS. I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STILL DON’T KNOW HOW TO SET IT UP AFTER ALL THIS TIME. YOU HUMANS ARE SUCH IDIOTS…”

Well. I never.

I also had 3 email messages from work marked “URGENT”….followed by 2 with the subject line “Never Mind”. See? Sometimes it pays to wait it out.

It’s comforting to know that my morning dialogue is missed when I occasionally miss a weekday...makes me feel less like I’m talking to myself. Not that I DON’T talk to myself…’cause I do. I can admit that ‘cause I’m one of those…creative, artistic types….we DO crazy stuff like that, don’tchaknow.

And speaking of crazy…I went to a book signing over the weekend. Actually, it was right before I became deathly ill….hmmmmm….interesting. Co-incidence? Or possible attempt at eliminating any witnesses to Margarete’s past?

But I’m getting ahead of myself here.

First and foremost: Margarete is not crazy. I mean, she’s fun-crazy….and she’s KABOOM-crazy…but she’s not cray-zee.

Second, she wrote a book:

…and not just ANY book, but a THRICE-AWARD-WINNING book. That means she won 3 awards…as in thrice…’cause she’s three-times-better than your average author. Hence da thrice.

She had a book signing at Barnes & Noble on Saturday. Yes, BFF-since-kindergarten had a BOOK SIGNING at BARNES & NOBLE on Saturday. I arrived without said book, as she’d already professed her undying friendship, love, admiration and respect in my very own first edition that lives on my living room end table, alongside Clinton Kelly’s Freakin’ Fabulous…an unrelated, yet equally cherished tome.

Instead, I arrived with a bottle of tastefully-bagged Cab…and two straws.

Appropriate? You betcha.

The book is a must-read….the disease a must-eradicate.

'Nuff said.

I’m off to pen a letter to Oprah.