Forever Young

I’m very much aware of the fact that this is the first day of a brand spankin’ New Year…and therefore, I’m supposed to talk it up. I’m not sure why I need to talk it up…as it’s already here, everyone’s already been introduced…and it’s not like it’s going anywhere for the next 364 days.

The only one who does not seem aware of the New Year is my iHome:

(Yes, this is an actual photo taken today at 1:03pm. Cross my heart...pinky swear.)

Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Well, just adjust the date-thingie…by rotating that little roller-gadget underneath the subdefuse navigation compartment on the back upper left hand side of the unit.” (“Word’s” got this page lit up like an overdone Christmas tree...and Google wants to know, “did you mean subdiffuse?...no?...maybe superfuse?”)

Huh.

(Yes, I made up “subdefuse”…or at least, I thought I had. I’m in no mood to argue with Google this early in the year. Plenty of time for that.)

See, here’s the thing: There is no adjustment to the date or the time on this baby….for it is some sort of nuclear-reacting-atomically-correct clock, which I guess means it has all its girlie parts. I guess I should’ve realized this, given its abundance of curves…

So as far as I can figure, I have only one option: I shall have to stay in the year 2008 until tomorrow.

(Insert dramatic, carrying-the-weight-of-the-world-on-my-delicate-shoulders sigh here.)

The rest of you can go on without me. I don’t mind….really. I can put on my own party hat…can open yet ANOTHER bottle of champagne…can find a video on YouTube of the ball dropping in Times Square from some OTHER year and will raucously count backwards from whatever to one (which is not always the simplest thing to do once alcohol has been consumed).

“Excuse me, Officer? You want me to count how? Backward? Really? Are you freakin’ kidding me? You mean, like they make you count when they’re putting you under anesthesia? I’ll admit…I feel a little bit like I’m under the influence of something here…Oops! Did I say that out loud?!”

(Author’s note: I do not condone drinking and driving. I DO condone drinking…I simply believe that once you’re under the influence, you should take a cab. After all, that’s why they were invented.)

I hope everyone enjoys their first January first of 2009….and as you breeze through your day, don’t forget to wave fondly over your shoulder at the gal who’s steadfastly stuck in 2008…waiting patiently for the date to change…yet nevertheless remaining…forever…YOUNG!